Feeling dissatisfied with life, but don’t know what’s missing? Perhaps you don’t want to be single anymore and are looking for a special someone.
“The right person will come along when you least expect it”. I once heard someone say, “That was a myth created to make single people everywhere feel better about their failure to find a mate.” They continued by asking, “Do you really think that if you stopped making an effort in your appearance, stopped being social, turned down dates, and were negative all of the time, your soul mate would magically appear in your life?”
Sadly, many people will be in for a rude awakening out on the Singles Scene.
Life doesn’t work that way. Everything, from getting a promotion at work, to finding a life partner, takes effort. You’re not going to meet anyone if you’re binging on Netflix every weekend. You need to crawl out of that shell of yours and understand that, if you don’t want to be single, you need to make a change. Whether it’s changing your attitude to be a more pleasant person, or losing those excess pounds to look better, make a change if you want to see results.
Stop and drop those bad habits
If you’re only just realizing you need to change, let me help you out. Here are 13 signs that you’re ready to stop being single and start making a change.
#1 You fantasize more than you live. You tend to dwell on “what if” scenarios far more than you live in the real world. You probably also fantasize about your imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend and think about all the fun stuff you would do together. Snap out of it now, because absolutely no good can come out of living in la-la land.
#2 You are tired of hookups. Find yourself trying to convince your play buddy to stay the night? What about inviting them out for a date that doesn’t involve getting naked? Here’s a thought: perhaps you have come to a point where hooking up doesn’t do anything for you, and you yearn for something more.
#3 Jealousy rears its ugly head. You despise all your friends who are in happy relationships and can’t help but turn green with envy every time they regale you with relationship stories. You can’t help but feel sorry for yourself and you tend to wonder why the universe is so unfair.
#4 You whine about it. Everyone, from your BFF, to your cleaning lady knows that you’re tired of being single. Once you verbalize it, it’s most likely true. Some of you may not have the courage to say it out loud, but if you catch yourself incessantly thinking about being in a relationship, that counts as whining, too.
#5 You call up exes. Thinking about your ex and wondering what went wrong is perfectly normal, but if you go the extra mile and call them up to rekindle the romance, you have certainly gone too far. Once you’re willing to overlook the fact that you guys didn’t work out the first time around, you have to admit that you’re in a tired-of-being-single pickle.
#6 You forgot how to share. Being single means having everything to yourself. From hogging the blanket, to ordering takeout for one, there’s no need to share anything if there’s no one special in your life. Once you start resenting others for assuming that you’re down to share something *whether it’s splitting the check or enjoying a buy-one-free-one savings*, you should realize that you’re not being cheap—you’re just getting too comfortable being single.
#7 You detest weddings. It’s not just weddings that put you off—it’s any event or gathering that showcases couples, love, romance, and everything that you don’t have. If planning your friend’s stag night or throwing your cousin a bridal shower makes you want to throw yourself off a cliff, there’s a chance that you’re sick of being single and want to find your special someone.
#8 You agree to blind dates and online dating. It’s a general belief that, once you resort to blind dates and online dating, you’re desperate. This isn’t true for everyone, of course, and may be a nasty stereotype, but if you can’t find yourself a mate and have to resort to these options, you must really want to find a partner quickly.
#9 You get emotional. Chick flicks, love songs, couple-themed memes, and other mushy love stuff makes you want to lock yourself in an underground bunker and die. Not just that, any image with those annoying #RelationshipGoals hash tags make you want to flush your phone down the toilet. They do nothing but remind you that you’re single. There’s nothing wrong with getting emotional and upset when faced with diabetes-inducing love stuff, but just be sure to change if you’re unhappy.
#10 You’ve relaxed your standards. Remember when you were picky about who you wanted to date? Well, those were the good ol’ days. Now, you find yourself relaxing your standards so much, that you’re willing to settle for anyone—as long as they are single and somewhat into you.
#11 It’s no secret. An acquaintance of mine, Fiona, was out for lunch with a male colleague, when they chanced upon an adorable baby at the mall. Instead of simply ooing and awwing the way a normal person would, she snapped a we-fie of the three of them and instantly loaded it on Instagram. Nothing wrong with that, right? Well, the picture was accompanied by the hash tags, “#InstantBaby” and “#FamilyPicture.”
Sure, it was all in jest, but it was super lame and made me feel sorry for her. Could you make it any more obvious that you’re single, desperate, and need a change? Sure, there’s nothing wrong with declaring that you’re ready for a relationship and a family, but is announcing it on social media really the appropriate thing to do? Brings me back to my first point of not living in the real world.
#12 You relate to Taylor Swift. She loves cats, and you do, too. She was heartbroken, and you were, too. She’s single, and you are, too. The similarities stop there. No matter how alike you think you are, remember that you’re NOT 25 and fabulously wealthy, with a billion number-one hits in the bag. By no means should you think that, because she is doing just fine being single, it’s okay for you to stop trying.
#13 You’re starting to agree with your mother. Her incessant chants of, “you’re going to die alone” and “where the hell are my grandkids?” no longer annoy, but motivate you. Once you start making sense of your mother’s nagging, you know that it’s probably time for you to seek out a mate.
Being single is all about being young, wild, and free. I’ll be the first to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed my single life, as I loved how everything was all about me. However, you need to admit to yourself when it is time to start being serious about finding a mate. Don’t rush it and only do so when you’re ready; and don’t let anyone push you into doing something you’re not interested in doing.